TEDx Talks and Human Relationships

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This particular TEDx talk,  “Connect or Die: The Surprising Power of Human Relationships” happens to be one of my favs. Ophthalmologist, Starla Fitch, M.D., makes a keen analogy about how we “see” other people and how that can often be a distorted view through the “human lens”.

The real gift of sight is that it allows us to truly see each other and connect.

~ Starla Fitch, M.D.

A Chance Meeting on a Walk

2014-05-23 08.05.56I walk frequently in my neighborhood for exercise. I like to walk alone since I wear my headphones and enjoy listening to my playlist. I do, however, stop to chat briefly with neighbors but this one particular morning walk I was distracted by the t-shirt a woman was wearing, a woman I did not know. She was wearing a t-shirt for a walk she had done for breast cancer awareness. I somehow felt drawn to stop and ask her if she was a survivor, too. Her answer leads me to believe that I should have looked at her through a different human lens and not assume she was a survivor herself because of what she was wearing. Her daughter had cancer but, she explained, she also lost her daughter to cancer.

I offered her my sympathies but I stopped very quickly at that and ask her how she was doing. Sorry does only go so far. I can only imagine how many times she has heard that response from others. Her daughter had only been gone a few short months. She told me she has her good days and bad. We chatted briefly about it but then got on to other topics. I remember on my worst days of dealing with cancer that I simply wanted to talk to someone about anything but cancer. So, we did.

I found out she was traveling to France the very next day to see family. As I listened to her carefully I noticed a faint accent. She was French but had been living in the states for quite a number of years. Having taught English language learners in my classroom I’m a sucker for accents from any country and I commented on hers, faint as it was. We chatted about travel and how long we had both lived in the neighborhood.

The Connection

single-ribbon-pink-1306036I noticed a necklace she was wearing as well. It was the pink ribbon symbol that represents breast cancer. Not only was she wearing a shirt, she had on a necklace, too. They both, honestly, were a bit worn. I sensed it was a closeness she carried of her daughter who was no longer physically with her but that she must think of daily. What a difficult thing for a mother to have to deal with every day. That was something I knew nothing about, losing a child to cancer. It was my lesson and privilege that day to see her through a new human lens and to make a connection with her.

We hugged before we left and hoped we would see each other again on another walk. I suspect if we do, that we will be exchanging contact information to share a cup of coffee, more chat, and make an even deeper connection.

As I turned the corner of my block and headed home, a smile came over my face. This song began playing on my playlist.

 

I thought about Janine, my new friend, the quick relationship we developed because of our connection, and her upcoming trip. I’m sure she will benefit greatly from a visit with her sister in Paris.

What special human relationship has taken you by surprise?  Do you look at that person through a different lens now than you did when you first met?

Open your eyes, look at each other, and make the connection…. today.  I see you!

National Dance Day

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The last Saturday in July is observed as National Dance Day .  It has been set aside as the day honoring the benefits of dance to everyone.

Dancing is not only the performance of art but also the way to show people personalities as well as to help people raise their mood and improve their health.

Dancing is an integral part of my life. When I was growing up my parents would frequently put their favorite vinyl records on the turn table and along with my two sisters we would dance to favorite show tunes and legendary crooners like Dean Martin, Tony Bennett and others.

The Wedding Dances

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When our oldest son was married, I was polite and enjoyed mingling and meeting all the guests at the wedding until…. The music started. Then I never left the dance floor and danced with anyone who was next to me. It wasn’t much different at the weddings for my godson and nieces.  In fact, the song I chose in the YouTube video below is the song that my niece and I have long dubbed, “our song”, because when it comes on, I look at her and together we sing, “I love you, I love you, I love you!”  She played it at her wedding and the two of us went out to the dance floor and rocked out together.

Carpe Diem and the Power of Music

Fun-day Friday Dance

It only seemed appropriate then to celebrate the final phase of my breast reconstruction with a dance. Here is what took place that Fun-day Friday just minutes before my breast reconstruction surgery.  I don’t know who is lucky enough to have a micro-surgeon with such compassion and such a great sense of humor to embrace and honor my request to do this.  It was not an easy task and I’m not suggesting anyone do the same thing.  There is an element of safety that we had to work around.  I truly thought I’d be up dancing with the team but due to safety concerns, understandably, I had to remain on the surgical bed.  Just watch my feet as I can hardly stand it that I’m not on the floor with them doing the “sprinkler” or shaking my booty with them.  Thanks to the great surgical team, too, for joining in.  You are all the best!  I do think it elevated all of our moods that morning and certainly brought out each individual personality.  Enjoy, and if the music so moves you…. Get up and dance!

Happy National Dance Day!

DIEP Flap Breast Reconstruction Surgery~ Phase 2

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PRMA has been kind enough to film this video so that I can explain  DIEP flap breast reconstruction surgery, phase 2.  My hope is that this will help other women in preparing and what to expect as you recover from phase 2, the revision and symmetry part of your DIEP flap surgery.  No matter where your surgery is performed I hope the information helps in your planning and the questions you might have going into this part of your breast reconstruction.

The Value of Patient Stories

The marketing representative at PRMA, Courtney Floyd, worked hard to film and edit this and other PRMA videos.  When other women can see and hear first-hand the successes of patients it is a direct reflection of the commitment that this Plastic Surgery group has for women as they rebuild their lives after cancer.

Editing Award

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I have to chuckle a bit when I listen to the video  that I recorded just three days after my revision surgery.  That breathing tube during surgery can do a number on your vocal chords and I have what I call my “smoky bar voice” in this video.  I can also see that my eyes are still a bit swollen from the surgery.

You will likely be turned a bit on the surgical table that day because of where the surgeon will have to harvest the fat, in my case, from my thighs.  I jokingly told him I’d be turned like a rotisserie chicken.  I remember a very strong looking surgical tech named Nelson before I was put to sleep.  He’s the one to the far right in this picture!  That was the best team ever!!  I just wanted to look at him, knowing he might be the muscles in the group that day and say, “Turn me gently, Nelson, turn me gently!”

Courtney invited me to be a patient advocate.


I’ll chalk this one up to post surgical grogginess but in the video you will notice at one point I use the word “feminism” when I meant to say”femininity”.  Ah well, the life of a post-surgical patient advocate!   I will attest to the fact that Courtney knows her business when it comes to editing these videos so thank you, Courtney, for “bleeping out” any weirdness going on in my head that day trying to get my words out.  I’m handing you the Oscar for best editing award!

Getting Back to Your Routine

Phase 2 is so much easier than phase 1.  It is the icing on the cake.  I flew in to San Antonio on a Wednesday, had surgery on Friday morning and returned the following Tuesday.  I flew back home by myself.  My sister flew in and was there for this surgery but she had to travel back to her own home town. It is very possible to fly out a couple of days after your surgery.  I personally don’t recommend flying home the day after surgery.  Check with your plastic surgeon’s office and discuss this with them if you are driving or flying.

The only discomfort I experienced was from the bruising due to the liposuction itself which was a known part of the procedure for me.  I describe it more as soreness rather than pain. It was completely manageable and walking and moving helped with the soreness.  You will have a weight limitation post-surgery of ten pounds for a week after surgery, as is the case with most surgeries.  I was out taking walks again after being home just one week.  You cannot sleep on your stomach or side for 4 weeks so get those pillows ready for when you arrive home.  I was driving again a week after surgery, but please note that you must be off pain medication when you return to driving.  In fact, I did the grocery shopping by myself.  Just ask the clerks to “lighten your bags” for you.  Take them in one at a time after you get home. Other than the usual post-surgical fatigue and wearing a compression garment for three weeks it was a relatively seamless procedure for me.

Other details

You can shower the day after surgery.  You will have some swelling in your legs as the fluid and bruising gravitate downward and your body works to absorb the extra fluid from surgery and healing.  Wear compression stockings home on the plane or in the car if you are traveling to reduce the possibility of blood clots.

You will likely feel so much stronger after phase 2 than you did coming home from phase 1 but a word of caution…. DON’T OVER-DO IT!!  Guilty as charged on that one.  I had a bit of a set back at week two and just had to tell myself that I had just been through surgery again.  I slowed down week two. Continue to take walks, drink lots of water, and eat healthy meals. Allowe yourself to take daily naps to let your body rest and heal. Take it easy, ladies and take my advice and don’t go back at it too fast.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your success stories, PRMA!