When I think of all the mothers who are involved with those having DIEP flap breast reconstruction or any kind of breast surgery, it warms my heart. There are those Moms who are no longer with us who are so deeply rooted to their daughters they have inspired them to make this tough choice when affected by breast cancer. They are worthy of a Mother’s Day tribute.
Mothers Having Breast Reconstruction
Your arms are used for hugging, wiping tears, working, cleaning, and caring. It may be tender moments, angry moments, gross and disgusting moments but you chose this title and roll with the punches. For Moms who have been diagnosed with breast cancer or having surgery to reduce their risk of getting breast cancer you are thrown into a world you never intended to be in. You wonder how you will even tell your children you may have to lose your breasts and have a very intricate surgery that will render you the one who needs to be cared for instead of the other way around.
When I told my two boys the first time, I had breast cancer I cried, anguished, and felt so guilty for what I was putting them and my husband through. The second time, I was in shock. I called them up and more or less gave them the idea, “Been through this once and we can do it again” with no tears shed, at least when I told them. As the days unfolded and I realized the gravity of a double mastectomy and in the same year DIEP flap breast reconstruction, I simply could not believe the sacrifices they were making once again, now as adult children.
The Tender Heart of a Mother
Moms who have little ones at home are so torn about what to do. How will I pick them up and hold them? How much help am I going to need after my breast reconstruction? Should I even go through this or am I just being vain to want to have my breasts back? What about work? When can I return to work? Those I talk to do not always have desk jobs and are quite active at work. They are usually exhausted the first week or so when they do return to work after recovery. Then they come home to take care of family.
Yes, having breast reconstruction is a difficult decision, and they deserve recognition this Mother’s Day and every day. If you are a child, grown or otherwise, reading this, just tell them how much you love them. Wrap your arms around them and tell them the best thing they ever made for you. Tell them how much you appreciate keeping you accountable for your actions and teaching you how to be compassionate just because they can watch their Mom do the same. Small gestures and words mean so much to us. We remember those things.
The Wonderful Caregiver Mothers
When I hear one of the many members of the DiepCJourney Facebook group tell me their Mom is coming to stay with them after their surgery to take care of the children, I can feel the words of relief in their comments. For those whose sisters come to care for them they know they will just get it when they need to be left alone or simply need to cry. My heart skips a beat when I approve a new member who says, “My daughter is having this surgery and I want to know how to help them.” Wow! Just Wow!
The Loss of a Mother
For those whose Mothers have passed, I hear their anguish. They tell me how much they miss them and wish they could be there to help. I don’t know what this feels like but can only imagine. I hold my own Mom so close to my heart and am grateful. She is here to send good wishes to this Mother’s Day.
There are broken families who have seen differences to a point they no longer have a relationship with their Mom. It can be for a number of reasons. They may lean on a dear friend, another family member, or organization to fill the void and soft touch of a Mother to care for them during breast reconstruction.
What is Your Mother’s Day Tribute?
With so many stories, poignant, heartbreaking, funny, and touching through your own breast reconstruction, It would be an honor to hear your tribute to that person in your life who you call Mom in this Mother’s Day Tribute blog.
Mom, I am so blessed I can send you a Mother’s Day greeting this year. I love you so!!
