A breast cancer diagnosis changes life forever. There is no instruction book on how to deal with a diagnosis, only the glut of information that one attempts to digest after being told they have breast cancer. It can feel like drinking from a fire hose sometimes. Can breast cancer ever be a side note?
The diagnosis feels like being sucked into a vortex pulling the patient in along with their family, friends, and caregivers. The cavernous vacuum fills with emotions, appointments, unknown treatment, costs, lifetime side effects from surgery, and create unintended changes in most people’s lives. Unknowns lurk around dark corners. Some are agonizing to deal with. Other unknowns of a breast cancer diagnosis can be quite transforming in an enlightening way.
Long lasting impact of Breast Cancer
How do you set it aside, so it becomes a side note? Can a breast cancer diagnosis be a less important part of what your life in the months and years after breast cancer? Do you want to know my secret? I do not have one. I was diagnosed for the first time in 2002 and endured two surgeries, eighteen weeks of chemotherapy making me so sick and weak I could not carry a laundry basket more than a few steps without sitting down to rest. I lost the hair everywhere on my body during the heat of a Texas summer refusing to wear a wig around the guys in my life at home. I only wore a cotton turban or bandana in public. This was before it was more embraced to go bald during breast cancer treatment.
Radiation wore me out. It did not really give me burns on my skin, but I dealt with lots of skin sensitivity and itching. I drove an hour each way to my treatments. By week six, my friend had to drive me home and I always fell asleep in the car and took a nap when I got home. I continued post-diagnosis treatment for five years taking endocrine therapy, Tamoxifen, because of the type of breast cancer I had. I often say it took me three years to rebound from the long-lasting impact of my first diagnosis.
Always a Side Note and Diagnosis Two
Diagnosis number two occurred twelve years later in April of 2014. It frustratingly included at the onset a mistaken diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer. After we muddled through and straightened out records, had multiple scans verifying it was not stage IV, I had what is often referred to as, acquired absence of breasts, a medical term describing a double mastectomy. The psychological impact for me was a daily challenge. What do I wear to the store until I get my prosthesis? What is my husband thinking each time he sees me step out of the shower? His comment of, “I’m glad you’re still here” did nothing for my desire to have my breasts back.
In the meantime, I spent countless hours searching the internet for a plastic surgeon. I looked all over the country. My husband watched me patiently respecting what my desired qualifications were for a surgeon. I shared my findings and information, asking his opinion and if he liked my choices. Ultimately, he encouraged me to be comfortable with my choice without his input. He reminded me it was my body, and he would be the financial and emotional support I would need so much during this difficult time of decision making.
My Epiphany After DIEP flap Breast Reconstruction
I had difficult conversations with family and friends, multiple scans, physical therapy, tests, a flight with my husband for the initial consult to meet the plastic surgeon I chose to do my reconstruction, and finally the day my life I did a complete pivot. December 1, 2014, my breasts were rebuilt by one of the most compassionate, skilled human beings I have met, Dr. Minas Chrysopoulo of PRMA in San Antonio, Texas. What influenced this life changing decision to advocate for others? Was it living without my breasts for seven long months? Perhaps it was the unconditional love and support of my family and friends during surgeries and recovery in 2014.
Was it the conversation I had with my breast surgeon and Dr. C educating me on the value and importance of shared decision-making in breast reconstruction? All of my life’s experiences involving two breast cancer diagnosis and culminating in DIEP flap breast reconstruction transformed my life to be sure. I was well on my way to becoming a mentor to new teachers entering the classroom at the time of my second diagnosis. But I did a complete 360 after my DIEP flap turning my life to patient advocacy and starting a nonprofit to support those affected by breast cancer.
Breast Cancer: Never a Side Note
My decision to attack the beast and slay this dragon, breast cancer, by providing resources, education, and support for those facing breast cancer has filled my life with joy daily. For me, breast cancer has never been a side note since the day of my first diagnosis. I am grateful each day my feet hit the ground no matter how the day unfolds. I always want just one more day.
How has breast cancer changed your life? Is it now a side note?
