We can write down, talk about, and make all the New Year’s resolutions we want. However, what will sustain us throughout the year is our resilience and responding to situations that set us back or cause us to change direction in our lives unexpectedly. How are you going to be tapping into resilience in the New Year?
When Life Events Become a Catalyst to Tap into Resilience
There are distinct types of events in life that can cause us to pivot, adjust, and do our best to move forward. I am speaking about health events. A sporting accident, a catastrophic car accident, or finding you have a disease that could either take your life sooner than expected or change your life forever. These are only a few examples of life events that cause one to reexamine how they are going to deal with things moving forward.
My experience dealing with breast cancer twice, twelve years apart, was each unique to my situation at the time. At the time of my first diagnosis in 2002 I had young boys that my husband and I were still putting through school. Our youngest was in middle school and our oldest in college. We experienced emotional trauma with them and faced financial setbacks. I was in the process of returning to work when I was diagnosed.
Our New Year Started with a Call for Resilience
The emotions they dealt with often masked because we all just “got through it.” I was extremely sick during chemotherapy and needed help after two surgeries. Driving an hour each way to chemotherapy and later daily for six weeks of radiation took its toll on all of us. I started Tamoxifen soon after radiation. My body was worn out physically and emotionally. We also found out shortly after I finished radiation my amazing caregiver and youngest son would need scoliosis surgery at a pivotal point in his life, learning to drive and turning sixteen. Added to that our oldest son was staring at a military deployment during the 2002 Iraq war.
All these events started our year in 2003. We were each asked to bring a lot of resilience in the New Year and none of us had an instruction book for that process. Each event required finding support from each other. When one person felt weak, the other kicked in to help. We drove our youngest son three hours each way to take him to his appointments for his back surgery during 2003. It turns out our oldest son blew his knee out playing lacrosse in college. He was 32 hours away from us. Although the surgery thankfully kept him from deployment, we had to manage his surgery and care long distance.
Our collective team effort and individual grit is what got us through that year. We built up resilience during 2002 and 2003 that would prepare us for other events in our life. The resilience we built then was going to be called upon again in 2014 during my second diagnosis.
Tapping Into Resilience a Second Time
What changes and challenges have you encountered that required you to manage and bounce back from an inconvenient situation? I was called upon to make sense of a second breast cancer diagnosis with those two boys and my husband again in 2014. Oddly enough, when I found out and came home to inform my family I did not shed a tear. I was mostly angry. My anger forged a steely attitude causing me to keep a stiff upper lip. This disease did not take me out twelve years previous. I told my support team at home, “We got through this once and we’re going to get through it again.” Resilience!
The word strength is often synonymous with the word resilience. Make no mistake, I did not always feel strong. My support team did not always feel strong. I cried alone and with family and friends on several occasions during the next few months as I sorted out what the next steps would be. Those next steps included scans, new medication, surgery, recovery, physical therapy, appointments, choosing surgeons to perform my double mastectomy and later my DIEP flap breast reconstruction. It was another exhausting year for me and my family.
When Resilience Became a Catalyst for Change
I hear and read incredible stories of people who have faced a health event that catapulted them to make tough decisions regarding their life. One day, you are immersed in your work and daily living. A lab test, an imaging result, an accident can cause a person to summon resilience and learn the process of change even when it was not part of the plan.
This is my story and one of many. My second diagnosis was the catalyst to become a patient advocate to educate about all options for breast reconstruction for those affected by breast cancer. Opening a nonprofit organization and supporting those affected by breast cancer as my daily work was not on my radar, ever! It is now what I am most grateful for each day. Through support of a phenomenal mentor, my reconstructive surgeon, encouragement from our oldest son, and having my family stand beside me DiepCFoundation remains the change that occurred after a health event that called on me to be resilient.
Each day I witness new patients being diagnosed, recovering from surgery, living beyond breast cancer, and living purposeful lives after they were called on to tap into their own resilience. These resilient people continue working. They raise their families. Some commit to training for marathons. Others start new careers. By putting one foot in front of the other they all respond to a health event they had no idea how to navigate.
How are you tapping into resilience in the New Year? I would love to hear your story.
