I listen to the community that is DiepCJourney every day unless my wonderful volunteers and admins are helping me. I could produce many anxiety-related words to describe what it is like to go through breast cancer and breast reconstruction. Waiting, wondering, pivoting and patience are four of those words. There are many more because this is an emotional roller coaster. Hang on tight and let’s talk about what each word is.
Waiting
You have just been newly diagnosed. You are sitting in front of a genetic counselor who reveals to you that you are at high risk of getting breast cancer due to a genetic mutation. Let’s push the rewind button. Before you found out about either of these scenarios , you were waiting for the results. It consumes your life emotionally, physically, and otherwise.
You have heard it before; breast cancer does not discriminate. Young, old, single, in a relationship, professionals with jobs and the list goes on. Everyone goes through a waiting period to find out test results, imaging, or wait for the office to call you back to schedule an appointment. What do you do with yourself while waiting to decrease anxiety?
The first thing to do is to validate your feelings. It is normal not to feel so normal during this time. Tell yourself that first! When you have done all you can do and all you can do is wait, think ahead of what you might need in the best case and the worst case. I have always been a “have a plan B” person to prepare myself for the worse case.
Plan A and Plan B While Wondering
Plan A, the worse news. While you are waiting, do some research. This could include reading the information you were given by your healthcare team, oncologist, surgeon, or primary care physician. You have a phone, tablet, or computer. There are so many health apps available for breast cancer. I have links to a few on my Health Apps resource page. Choose one that makes sense to you, provides evidence-based information, and supports you through a community section.
One of my favorites, The Breast Advocate App. From diagnosis, choosing what type of surgery you are planning to a community of like-minded people you can speak to; it hits the mark. Full disclosure, DiepCFoundation, the nonprofit I started, is a Patient Advocacy Partner. This means that I helped co-create the app with the developer, my reconstructive surgeon, Dr. Minas Chrysopoulo, at his request. We have worked collaboratively building content on the app and to this day, I share my thoughts with the community portion of the app.
Other Tips and How you Can Pivot
- Organize your home, clean, cook meals ahead of time, donate items you no longer need. It can be cathartic and therapeutic and a great way to pivot.
- Movement is key! Fresh air walks, keeping your gym routine, dancing, biking, or any kind of exercise that brings you joy and distraction from waiting.
- Read a book. I have some listed on my resource page that includes recovery, treatment and surgical options, children’s books, and cook books; a cook book with healthy eating choices! There is no time like the present to begin.
- Start journaling. Writing your thoughts down from day to day will track your feelings and emotions. To join my friend, April Johnson Stearns, writing community, listen to our podcast interview to see if it might work for you.
- I hope you dance! Dance alone, dance with your partner, dance with your friends. Because this could be your best Plan B ever if the news you wanted while waiting didn’t turn out as bad as you expected, or even if it did. Read the story of my survivor and best friend here: https://diepcjourney.com/ihyd-dance-the-story-of-two-breast-cancer-survivors/
Patience, the Virtue You Will Need!
I have used this phrase so many times when I speak to the members of the DiepCJourney Facebook page. It takes patience to wait, recovery, go through treatment, and certainly to deal with all the people in your life who are well intended but can also get on your last nerve. It is OK to say to someone, “My patience is tapped out now, and you will just have to give me time. I’ll get back to you when I’m in a better place emotionally.”
This is telling them politely without judging their desire to help. When you are in a more peaceful headspace, feeling a bit more upbeat, resilient, then go to the mirror and say to yourself, “Use your patience on yourself and everyone you encounter today!” Then smile back at the person in the mirror. A smile has been shown to have positive bonding functions and raise endorphins.
How do you deal with waiting, wondering and how do you pivot and exercise patience during breast cancer and breast reconstruction? I’d love to hear your ideas and for you to share your resources!