Category: Emotional Recovery

Your spouse/partner; telling your children; telling your parents and siblings; reaching out to friends; friends who latch on for the drams of it all; when to ask for help; how to be grateful for help

Change is Part of the Journey: Finding Strength After Reconstruction

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Seasons bring change. We see visible signs of these changes and they are expected. The changes are often welcome like the first warm day of spring after a long winter. This time of year, during December, holiday lights and long winter nights bring a sense of coziness and comfort. We adapt. Change is also part of the Journey after reconstruction. How do we plan and cope with these changes? It is easier for some than others. Thoughts of Unknown Changes When one begins planning their reconstruction surgery many wonder what they will look like after a surgeon carefully takes a scalpel to skin. DIEP flap breast reconstruction involves incisions at both the breasts and the abdomen. Just thinking about that process can be overwhelming. Will there be pain associated with the incisions? Where will the incisions be and how will one take care of them, whether themselves or with the Continue Reading →

Pause Before You Post: Navigating Emotions After Breast Surgery

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We’ve all felt it. It is that surge of emotion after breast surgery when expectations clash with reality, when pain, disappointment, or confusion bubble to the surface. In those moments, social media can feel like a lifeline, a place to vent, connect, or seek validation. But before you hit “post,” take a breath and pause. Your story is sacred, and your healing deserves space. Sharing raw emotions online might feel cathartic, but it can also invite misunderstanding, judgment, or regret. This post is a gentle reminder: your voice matters, and so does the timing of how you use it. Why Timing Matters When you Post When you’re fresh out of surgery, feeling physically tender, emotionally raw, it’s natural to want to reach out. You might feel betrayed by your body, disappointed by results, or overwhelmed by the recovery process. These feelings are valid. But posting in the heat of those Continue Reading →

Insights from the DiepCFoundation Breast Symposium: Facing the Dragon

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A young man took the podium at the DiepCFoundation Breast Symposium. He shared a slide entitled, “Facing the Dragon.” His presentation was on the role of the caregiver for loved ones who have breast cancer and DIEP flap breast reconstruction. The young man was our oldest son, Richard Coutee. He is also a brother, husband, and dad. It is an honor to present insights from his talk. Facing the Dragon “This threat is something we will be facing as a family.” Rich Coutee Richard is a follower of the stoic philosophers. He presented a slide showing Marcus Aurelius. The metaphor of facing the dragon was to show the threat we faced as a family when we heard that I had breast cancer the first time. Rich was a first-year college student at the time of my first diagnosis. He could have made the choice not to come home. However, he Continue Reading →

Waiting, Wondering, Pivoting and Patience

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I listen to the community that is DiepCJourney every day unless my wonderful volunteers and admins are helping me. I could produce many anxiety-related words to describe what it is like to go through breast cancer and breast reconstruction. Waiting, wondering, pivoting and patience are four of those words. There are many more because this is an emotional roller coaster. Hang on tight and let’s talk about what each word is. Waiting You have just been newly diagnosed. You are sitting in front of a genetic counselor who reveals to you that you are at high risk of getting breast cancer due to a genetic mutation. Let’s push the rewind button. Before you found out about either of these scenarios , you were waiting for the results. It consumes your life emotionally, physically, and otherwise. You have heard it before; breast cancer does not discriminate. Young, old, single, in a Continue Reading →

The Warmth of the Traveling Pashmina

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The warmth of the traveling pashmina is not a title I thought I would be creating for a blog post. This is what I love about writing. You can take the smallest gestures of kindness and share those most meaningful stories from them. This story spans both time and space. You must read this to the end. It promises to warm your heart. The Gift of the Pashmina The days leading up to my double mastectomy were filled with emotion, planning, preparing, and letting go. This was my second breast cancer diagnosis. I was no stranger to the shock of multiple doctor’s appointments, coordinating care between my health care team, and the understanding that my body was about to undergo an assault of surgical treatments and recovery I wish I did not have to think about. The biggest of those changes was losing my breasts. My first diagnosis involved lumpectomy. Continue Reading →

Dealing With The Overwhelming Feeling of Loss

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This week has been challenging for so many and for many reasons. The news in the U.S. has focused so much attention on the massive losses in the Los Angeles area from the wildfires. Loss is part of life. But how do people deal with it? This is not a blog to share what you have lost. You will understand why if you read to the end. How are you dealing with the overwhelming feeling of loss? Losses in my World I have received texts every day this week from friends who have loved ones directly affected by the fires in Los Angeles. There have been no lives lost from those I heard from and for that, I am grateful. It began early Monday morning when a dear friend of mine was coping with the news of the fire in the area where her daughters and young grandchildren live. They Continue Reading →

The Story and Tradition of Our Christmas Poinsettia

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This week my husband walked in the door with two beautiful poinsettias to add to the Christmas decorations in our home. It always makes me smile because it is tradition in our home and has been since December of 2014. This is the story and tradition of our Christmas poinsettia. A Look back to Christmas 2014 December 1, 2014, was a significant day in my life. I was wheeled into surgery to have my DIEP flap breast reconstruction with a highly skilled microsurgeon, Dr. Minas Chrysopoulo. We did a special interview looking back at that day that you can listen to on this episode of the DiepCJourney podcast. My husband and I got up before dawn that morning and made our way through the maze at the hospital parking lot and halls to check in. We traveled from Arizona to San Antonio by plane for my surgery. I booked us Continue Reading →

The Emotional Connection of a Few Drops of Ink

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Ink has long been used to draw, write, create, and document words and pictures. Since ancient times ink has been developed for different purposes. Some inks throughout history are made to be permanent while others, especially today, are disposable, like the ink used in writing tools in distinct types of pens. Consideration for the material the ink is placed upon became a science to create lasting historical documents. What if the “material” the ink is placed on is your skin? I want to share with you the emotional connection of a few drops of ink. Ink Used in Tattoos Let’s talk about the canvas, the material I mentioned, your skin. One of the first tattoos discovered on a human body date back to a mummy found in the Alps. Among the many uses of ink in tattoos, history tells us they were used to mark criminals, recognize a tribe of Continue Reading →

Art Series by Beth Gainer

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The creative work of Beth Gainer is featured in this summary of the DiepCFoundation educational channel interview we did together. I invited Beth to put together a presentation for the interview to share slides featuring some of the art that she hopes to have in a public space or gallery someday. The title is so inspiring and fitting: Breast Cancer, Female and Young – Art Series by Beth Gainer. Meet Beth Gainer Beth is a breast cancer survivor, a mother, an English professor, writer, book author, and an artist. Her creative writing and artwork speak to so many of us and has been a healing mechanism in her own Journey. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her thirties and something she found in a self-exam. A mammogram and doctors exams had missed it. What Beth noticed upon self-exam was a slight dimpling. When she brought it to the attention Continue Reading →

Sunflowers and a Tribute to Passion and Purpose

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Each morning when I wake up, I enjoy coffee my husband makes. He’s pretty sure he is THE coffee aficionado in our home. A retired engineer, he carefully crafts the delicious cup of roasted beans I enjoy upon waking up. I open the kitchen window blinds and look out at our garden. He has been planting sunflowers in a spot that frames that window because he knows how much I enjoy looking at them. During the dog days of summer, I offer you my thoughts on sunflowers and a tribute to passion and purpose. Sunflowers and Nature’s Beauty I was born and raised in Kansas. The state flower is the sunflower. This quote is from the Kansas Magazine: A cultural symbol throughout the ages – of faith, longevity, healing, happiness and good luck… The sunflowers in our garden rise to as tall as nine feet, reaching to the sun for Continue Reading →