Category: Emotional Recovery

Your spouse/partner; telling your children; telling your parents and siblings; reaching out to friends; friends who latch on for the drams of it all; when to ask for help; how to be grateful for help

Breast Cancer: Is it Ever a Side Note?

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A breast cancer diagnosis changes life forever. There is no instruction book on how to deal with a diagnosis, only the glut of information that one attempts to digest after being told they have breast cancer. It can feel like drinking from a fire hose sometimes. Can breast cancer ever be a side note? The diagnosis feels like being sucked into a vortex pulling the patient in along with their family, friends, and caregivers. The cavernous vacuum fills with emotions, appointments, unknown treatment, costs, lifetime side effects from surgery, and create unintended changes in most people’s lives. Unknowns lurk around dark corners. Some are agonizing to deal with. Other unknowns of a breast cancer diagnosis can be quite transforming in an enlightening way. Long lasting impact of Breast Cancer How do you set it aside, so it becomes a side note? Can a breast cancer diagnosis be a less important Continue Reading →

What Patients Can Teach You About Breast Cancer PTSD

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I wrote a blog on this topic regarding my own experience with PTSD after a breast cancer diagnosis. In fact, it was after my second breast cancer diagnosis. There are times when blogs are inspired in ways I did not see coming. After sharing it in my closed Facebook group my heart dropped reading the comments from others about their experience. I was amazed at what patients can teach you about breast cancer PTSD. I asked them how they deal with PTSD after breast cancer. They provided honest answers, some heart wrenching and some with resources to share within the group. Here is some what some patients shared about their own struggles. Sleep Deprivation and PTSD after Breast Cancer Sleep seemed to be illusive to some. They reported crying all day exhausting themselves into a nap. But then they did not sleep at night. This became a vicious cycle. One Continue Reading →

Sexual Health after Breast surgery and Breast Cancer Treatment

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The words, “You have breast cancer” can be very difficult to come to terms with for women and men. Added to this and what follows is the aftermath from treatment, surgeries, and loss of body parts. Our bodies are physiologically designed for sex with nerves to sexual organs in both male and female bodies. Sex is often associated with an emotional experience for many. For those affected by breast cancer living with scars, loss of body parts, debilitating changes to sexual function, self-image, fatigue, vaginal dryness, loss of libido, to name a few, changes in sexual health after breast surgery and breast cancer treatment are often left to the patient to grapple with. Our guest, Liz O’Riordan, is a breast surgeon, breast cancer survivor, and author who discusses and writes about the topic of sexual health. We invited her for an interview. Liz tells us her medical background and shares Continue Reading →

Breast Reconstruction: A Reflection of my Journey

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Significant birthdays deserve to be celebrated with meaningful moments. This was one of those birthdays for me, a side road but very much a part of my Journey. I knew it was time to do  something that had been on my radar even before I heard those four frightening words for the second time, “You have breast cancer”. This story is about my breast reconstruction, a reflection of my Journey. Late in 2013 I decided to register for a M.Ed. program in Teacher Leadership. I shared the news with my husband knowing it would jump start his clock. So, I looked at him and said, “When I finish, I’m going to get a shamrock tattoo on my ass.” Van Morrison is one of our favorite musical artists, an Irish storyteller and musician. Someone once asked him during an interview what his favorite kind of music is. He replied, “Anything that Continue Reading →

Choices: Breast Reconstruction or No Reconstruction after Mastectomy

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Women and men who are diagnosed with breast cancer are generally seen by a team of healthcare providers who treat this specific group of patients. It may include a radiologist, breast surgeon, radiation oncologist, plastic surgeon, or microsurgeon. The patient’s healthcare team may also include a combination of one or more of these specialties. Kim Bowles and I believe it is these physicians who should inform patients newly diagnosed about the surgical choices for breast reconstruction or no reconstruction after mastectomy. Kim and I met on social media.  Although we have never met in person, we have spoken often on the phone and via messages on social media. We are both breast cancer survivors who had to make a choice for breast surgery when a mastectomy was the best oncologic treatment for our respective breast cancers. What we strongly believe in is choice. Kim states,  We are in a position Continue Reading →

Ethical Responsibility of the Breast Cancer Story

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Have you ever been asked to share the personal story about your diagnosis of breast cancer? I have plenty of times and do not mind doing it but … I always want to know why and what the purpose of telling it is. Industry leaders pay attention! Please do not tell a story of a survivor to tug at the heart strings or grab the attention of the audience. It happens and I feel strongly about speaking up about the ethical responsibility of the breast cancer story. Breast cancer survivors often feel they have been sucked into a drama in life they did not want to be a part of. It feels like going to a bad movie you want to get up and walk out of even when you paid the money to get in. There are emotions, many tangled emotions involving more than just the survivor. Well meaning Continue Reading →

Wonder and Happiness: Pregnancy Post-DIEP – Part 2

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Emily is one of over 5,700 global members of the DiepCJourney Facebook group. I am honored to share her story of wonder and happiness: pregnancy post-DIEP – Part 2. More than a year later, I am finally prepared to reflect on the full experience of having a child after DIEP flap reconstruction. To recap, I am BRCA1+ and had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in June 2018 at the age of 36 and phase 2 corrective surgery with fat grafting in October 2018. I became pregnant with my 2nd child in April 2019 which left me wondering. At 38, after a full-term pregnancy with no complications, I was induced and delivered a healthy 7-pound 4-ounce baby girl on December 18, 2019, exactly one week after her sister’s 9th birthday. I wondered whether pregnancy would mess up my surgeon’s beautiful work. I am happy to report to all of Continue Reading →

Dealing with the Aftermath of Breast Cancer and Surgery

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There is no instruction book for this. You are diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening disease. Yes, I know, our survivor rates and treatment have both improved over the years. But what those years mean to a person going through treatment or healing from surgery has an entirely different meaning. It is a difficult Journey dealing with the aftermath of breast cancer and surgery. Dealing with Breast Cancer Emotions Take a bag of rocks, all different sizes, colors, and shapes. Put them in a box and shake them. Shake them loud and hard. It is sometimes the internal noise, like shaking this bag of rocks, that gets to you after a breast cancer diagnosis and surgery. Anger, fear, unknowns, disbelief, shame, guilt. There is your bag of rocks. You feel all of these emotions, sometimes more. Were you equipped to deal with this? Did you expect this to happen in your Continue Reading →

The Power of Patience in the Pandemic

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Do you feel like you are tapped out as we enter into the second half of 2020 continuing to adapt to a new kind of society since the coronavirus outbreak? I seem to have felt it more this week than any other. The common question starting most conversations seems to be, “How are you doing?” This is really asking, “How are you holding up through the pandemic?” How are you practicing the power of patience in the pandemic? A bit of Pandemic History The plague, a fatal infection arrived in Constantinople in 541 CE, Common Era, sometime used in place of AD. The plague spread across Europe, Asia, north Africa, and Arabia killing nearly 30 to 50 million people. This was half the world’s population.    The Black Death, a pandemic in Europe in 1347, took a shocking 200 million lives all in just four years. Science, not being as Continue Reading →

Please Do not Tell Me Not to Worry

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You arrive for your yearly mammogram, CT scan, ultrasound, or blood work. It could be any number of medical tests to determine if you have breast cancer, your breast cancer has metastasized, you are called back to have further testing, the list goes on. The appointment can elicit worry days before when you view it on your calendar knowing it is coming up. Then you wait for results. Or you wait a few more days for a recall on a mammogram when they “find something suspicious” that was not there a year ago. What do you say to someone who shares this news with you? Did you tell them not to worry? They are probably thinking, “please don’t tell me not to worry”. Mammograms can Cause Worry There are those who are having their first mammogram ever. Whether you are 24, 40 or 84 is really does not matter. The Continue Reading →