Emily is one of over 5,700 global members of the DiepCJourney Facebook group. I am honored to share her story of wonder and happiness: pregnancy post-DIEP – Part 2.
More than a year later, I am finally prepared to reflect on the full experience of having a child after DIEP flap reconstruction.
To recap, I am BRCA1+ and had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in June 2018 at the age of 36 and phase 2 corrective surgery with fat grafting in October 2018. I became pregnant with my 2nd child in April 2019 which left me wondering. At 38, after a full-term pregnancy with no complications, I was induced and delivered a healthy 7-pound 4-ounce baby girl on December 18, 2019, exactly one week after her sister’s 9th birthday.
I wondered whether pregnancy would mess up my surgeon’s beautiful work. I am happy to report to all of you (and Dr. Ledoux!) that pregnancy seems to have had little to no effect on my abdominal scar and post-DIEP body. However, I did experience quite a bit of tightness and discomfort in the last couple months of pregnancy with a lot of tenderness around my abdominal scar. Anyone that has been pregnant can attest to the feeling that you are literally going to burst approaching full term of the pregnancy. I started to feel like that right around the end of the 7th month. To say I was physically miserable toward the end would be an accurate description. Throughout my pregnancy, I kept an open dialogue with my OB/GYN regarding discomfort around the scar and was assured that everything was medically fine. However, we both agreed to induce at 40 weeks instead of waiting it out. There were zero complications with or due to my scars during delivery.
Due to DIEP and the lipo-suction done in my phase 2 corrective surgery, I did gain weight a lot differently in this pregnancy than my pre-DIEP pregnancy. This time around I gained approximately 40 pounds, most of the weight in my legs and butt, which caused me to need full-length compression hose for most of my pregnancy. Additionally, I ended up with a lot of varicose veins that I did not think would go away after. I am happy to report that almost 9 months later, a majority of these have faded away.
I also wondered what it would be like to not have the ability to breastfeed after choosing to have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. I have never questioned my decision to take my health into my own hands and proactively reduce my risks of hereditary breast and ovarian cancers, but I have grieved over that decision meaning I would not be able to breastfeed another child if I were to have one. I felt that grief through most of my pregnancy and even agonized over how I would deal with medical professionals questioning my decision to formula feed. I was not concerned with whether they thought I was right or wrong to “choose” formula but concerned about their questions opening a healing wound…my personal grief.
Looking back on all the grief and agonizing I went through seems a little silly to me now, but I respect that I had to go through it to get where I am now. I am happy. I am at peace. And you know what? My baby girl does not know the difference. By not being able to breastfeed, I realized just how EXHAUSTED I was…ALL THE TIME…after my first daughter was born. She was a champ at breastfeeding, and it took every spare ounce of energy out of me. This time around, I can share the feeding experience with my husband and 9-year-old. They are happy to be involved in the process and my body is relieved. I have more energy and can focus on bonding with my new bundle in other ways. By no means am I touting that one method (breastfeeding or formula feeding) is better than the other. I think a mother should chose what is right for her and her child, but I hope my story helps to ease the hearts and minds of other women that may want to breastfeed but cannot. There are certainly pros and cons to each, but that is a whole book in and of itself.
Mine is a story of good news, but there was a lot of wondering along the way. I hope my story helps those in similar circumstances wonder a little less and find happiness a little sooner.
