I want to extend a note of gratitude to the members of the DiepCJourney private Facebook page for their inspiration writing this blog, how to host a breast reconstruction community gathering.
For the readers, this is a community of learning, support, and sharing. I began “The Journey” Facebook group in 2015 before starting my nonprofit, DiepCFoundation. Now, this community has become an integral part of the Foundation work. I am inspired daily by their curiosity about breast reconstruction surgery, support for each other, and the friendships made along the way. You can see on the Advocacy page I recently held a community gathering of local Journey members. I want to share some tips on how to host your own breast reconstruction community gathering.
Tip #1 for you Breast Reconstruction Community Gathering
Ask yourself why you are having it. What purpose do you want to accomplish? It might be for the following reasons:
- A simple meet up to know others in your situation.
- Consider hosting a fundraising event for a favorite charity.
- Do you want to plan on a show and share where others can see your surgery results?
- Are you supporting a particular person who needs some extra help during their recovery?
Our gathering was simple. I did not realize how many lived in my area that were in my Facebook group. It was eye opening to me to begin with a list of roughly a dozen women and by the time the event was over it grew to over thirty ladies who found out about it. We are already planning our next meet up with a larger group at our next gathering.
Tip #2 Picking a Date and Time
This one is a bit tricky. Have you heard the term, “herding cats”? The phrase loosely applies in this instance. It is not that everyone is independent and goes their own way like cats like to do. It simply means, with unique schedules, choosing an ideal date and time is a noble task. Set realistic expectations and know that those can and want to come will. There will be others who drop out at the last minute due to personal emergency situations, illness, or other reasons.
Lessons I learned for our next meet up is to plan something on a weekend and earlier in the morning for a casual get together. With fewer folks working on the weekend or having someone watch their children is something I feel are two valid considerations. Also, holding it earlier in the morning and wrapping up by noon or 1 pm gives everyone the rest of Saturday to do other things. It’s a wonderful way to start a weekend, too!
Tip #3 Ask for Volunteers to Help Make a List and Help at the Event
I was fortunate to have a couple of ladies who were very keen on helping me gather a list. We used the search feature (eye glass icon) on the Facebook page and typed in the word, “Seattle” to see what we came up with. In the end, we did not find everyone before the event but as I mentioned earlier, thankfully the word spread on the Journey after word got out. Having others help you put together a list finds more folks you may not have even known about. They even volunteered to bring treats for all of us to share. That was a special bonus I did not expect!
It is important to find someone to help facilitate the group and lead the event once everyone is there. Let everyone come in at the beginning and just chat to get to know each other and share some hugs and laughter. I took it upon myself as the Foundation Director to be that person. Once we all introduced ourselves, I sat in front of everyone and gently encouraged them to share their stories. Be prepared to listen and encourage. Not everyone has the same comfortable level sharing. It can be a first for some and they realize how cathartic it can be to share in a community who understands. Acknowledge this during and after the meeting.
Tip#4 Finding a Venue for your Gathering!
Since I am a nonprofit I chose to support local and rent a space from a small business for a gathering I planned with other members of our Journey community. The cost was nominal and well worth the collaboration from the owners of the space. They provided tables and chairs. I was able to put out some educational materials for attendees to take home and also snacks one member brought to share.
There are other options to consider.
- Finding a restaurant that provides enough space. Be sure to let them know in advance what the gathering is for so they can provide the table space needed. Ask if there will be an additional service tip added for a larger group.
- Check with the local library system in your area. I have had other gatherings at local libraries in other cities I lived in. There is generally no cost but plan and make sure the space is available for the time you desire.
- Someone’s home. This is a big ask but some folks love to open their home up for others. Entertaining is easier for some than others. Be sure to be courteous to a home guest and offer to help bring something or help clean up afterwards. A nice host gift is always appreciated as well.
- Gather at a park or outdoor venue if you are in an area where you can count on mild weather. Be considerate of those who cannot be in the direct sun and know that some will need to be in the shade for the event. Plan accordingly. Choose a day with a decent temperature.
- Ask a local school or church if they have a community room you might use. Again, ask about the rules and regulations of bringing food, cleaning up, and shutting the area down before leaving.
Tip#5 Time for the Fun at the Gathering
You’ve done the work and now it’s time to enjoy each other’s company. Keep your expectations in check and know this can be a first step for many to attend an in-person meetup. Gather up emails and phone numbers of those who wish to share them before everyone leaves for the day. Talk about your next meetup. How can we do things better or differently for the next time?
Think about the wonderful new friends you have met in the breast reconstruction community. We get each other on so many levels. The barriers are broken down when we are allowed to freely share our stories in a safe place. In person meetings can reap rich rewards for attendees.
What suggestions do you have from meet ups you have had? This can be done in any country across the world. We are a global community, and I would love to hear from you. I leave you with a quote from a beautiful Journey member who started a group in her state.
It’s a sweet, wonderful thing to see you truly never walk alone.
Journey Strong member
Terri, what a wonderful idea. I think I saw people in our Facebook group trying a meet-up. Your tips are thoughtful and spot-on, and it’s a great feeling that one is not alone, although this is a club no one wants to join. Thank you for all you do for the reconstruction community. I think we all benefit from the education your foundation provides.
How lovely to hear from you Beth! Yes, these meet ups bring this community together to share stories that are sometimes difficult but also new friendships and fun. I truly appreciate you kind comments and wish you were closer to be at one of those meetups. Take care and always great to hear from you.
~ Terri