These seem like very strong words to define one who has been diagnosed with breast cancer or going through breast reconstruction. I believe people in either of these circumstances possess both hope and resilience. There are unpredictable forces in our life that move us forward. I consider resilience and hope in breast cancer and breast reconstruction as two of those forces.
Resilience When Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
When you hear or read the word, resilience, it seems like a strong word to define someone who has heard the news they have breast cancer. What I am really trying to convey is that whether you think you have resilience or not, you are actively showing that you do. How? By putting one foot in front of the other each moment, each day after being diagnosed. It is not to say you must stay positive, you are being courageous, or acting tough. My definition of resilience is adaptability and being able to pivot from one moment to the next.
Thinking back to each of the times I was diagnosed, I demonstrated resilience in different ways. The first time I heard the words you have breast cancer, I melted into a pool of tears. I trembled, fearful, wondering if I was going to see my next birthday or watch my sons grow up. But as the days and weeks followed, I researched my type of breast cancer. I asked a lot of questions at my healthcare appointments. Sharing the news with family and friends, I began to accept what treatment and surgery lie ahead of me. To me, that exposed my resilience, the spirit I had deep within me to pivot from one emotional moment to the next. I say to the reader, acknowledge your resilience during these difficult times.
And Again for Diagnosis #2
I reacted differently, for the most part, twelve years later when I heard I had breast cancer the second time. There is no other way to describe it other than saying, I was pissed. Very pissed. The toughness I built up during my first diagnosis transferred to that moment when I was diagnosed the second time. Now I was in fight mode. I remember telling my sons, now grown men, and saying to them, “I beat this once, I’ll do it again.” I say to the reader who has been diagnosed with any kind of cancer more than once, acknowledge your resilience during these difficult times.
Hope When Planning and Recovering from Breast Reconstruction
Those of you who have been reading the DiepCJourney blog for some time know I had DIEP flap breast reconstruction after my second diagnosis. When you hear the word hope, it feels like a positive word, a positive action. Relating it to breast reconstruction of any kind, implant-based or autologous (using your own tissue), the words hope, to me, relates more to expectations. When I was planning my reconstructive surgery after my double mastectomy I waited patiently and with hope and expectation of having my breasts back. Even for those having immediate reconstruction, a mastectomy and reconstruction in one surgery, you hope to wake up with breasts that look like the breasts that were removed because of the disease of breast cancer.
I hear from those planning their surgery they “hope” they can return to work soon after their surgery. Here are some other statements using the word hope that I often hear on the DiepCJourney private Facebook group I am the administrator of.
- I hope it is OK to ask this question. (This from a woman who posed a question that was uncomfortable for her to ask. Our heads are so full of questions, and some feel they need permission to ask a question.)
- I hope this is my last revision. (This from a woman who had to have more than one revision surgery to achieve the aesthetic results she was looking for.)
- Now I am on to recovery, I hope. (This soon after a woman finished her DIEP flap surgery.)
- I had to come back and post today to give hope. (This from a woman who had some setbacks along her breast reconstruction and despite these, was doing well and wanted to share this with other Journey members.)
Hope and Resilience are Words we Can Live by
Both words carry so much meaning for me personally. I wanted to share them with you in this blog. I would love to hear your thoughts on how you feel about the words hope and resilience as it relates to your breast cancer diagnosis and breast reconstruction Journey.
Serendipitous things happen in life. One such change thing happened to me while I was writing this blog. I took a quick break to check in on “The Journey” Facebook group to answer some pending questions and comments. Women often share beautiful personal photos of their stories of recovery from diagnosis and after DIEP flap surgery. One such member is Kate Middlemiss, also known as k.littlemiss85/ on Instagram. She gave me permission to use this message of hope she posted on the Journey. I cannot think of a better way to end this blog.
It’s not easy, you will have days that are harder than others, days where you feel you can’t go on and are alone but know that each and every one of us in these groups understand where you are at. It may not be the same, but it very well may be similar.
Kate Middlemiss