I have been fortunate not to have been affected by the Corona virus… until this week. The statement itself poses something of a paradox, “not to have been affected by the Corona virus.” Our global population has been affected by this since the pandemic began in ways unthinkable, unimaginable. I felt the physical affects this week after testing positive. I have had time to consider things while in isolation.
Perspective and the Regrettable Necessities of Life
I am on the mend, thankfully. It feels a bit odd to write about this publicly after keeping it on the down low all week. Especially given the other world tragedies we are dealing with and as the pandemic numbers increase… again. Perspective! Folks are pent up, tired, weary of dealing with the isolation. Having celebrated a few trips around the sun, birthdays, and feeling fortunate to recuperate in the care of my mom’s home this week, I am sharing my own thoughts from the ten-thousand-foot view being in isolation.
Perspective of your personal situation is everything. I do not think we should be dismissive of any mental or emotional anguish we are feeling. So many are experiencing heartbreaking tragedies at the moment. I have a favorite uncle who coined a phrase that I love. In our long-distance phone calls, we always begin our conversation asking how you are or what are you up to today. One thing he frequently says to me is, “Oh, you know, just taking care of the regrettable necessities of life.” Classic! We have so many routines, mundane, everyday tasks related to our personal and professional life we can classify as “regrettable necessities.” It is putting the big picture items in perspective that are important.
Consideration of the Big-Ticket Items
My visit to see my mom was planned a couple of months ago. Unfortunately, my symptoms started a day after I arrived for my visit. I tested positive and went into immediate isolation to protect her. Our plans for the two weeks stay did an about face. Mom’s small acts of love and care became my big-ticket item. We used a phone system as our room service. She would call me to ask if I was ready for coffee, breakfast, and meals. My sister placed a TV tray (remember those?) outside my bedroom. Mom would place my food on the tray, knock on the door, and say, “OK, it’s ready.”
Day two I opened the door to the hall and my throat tightened. Not only was the food on the tray but mom placed a small, lit, candle, a vase of fresh, brightly colored flowers, and a “Sending get well wishes” card signed with love by her and my sister. I will be in this small bedroom in isolation one more day.
All week feeling really lousy physically, intermittently, as I felt up to it, I would work since I brought my laptop with me. I faced a few frustrations dealing with those “regrettable necessities” of life and the responsibilities of being a businessperson running a nonprofit Foundation. The contents of the TV tray became my big-ticket item. I considered the news unfolding during the week, loss of lives, hearts broken and nothing seemed more important to me than the love being showered on me by my family and sweet mom. I am so grateful.
How Are You Doing?
I am sincere when I ask the readers that question. As human beings during a historic event like this pandemic, be aware we should occasionally be asking each other this question. The uncle I spoke of earlier called me this week to check on me. We were supposed to go to lunch together and I hope to still do so later in the week. I explained to him I have experienced a few events in my life, breast cancer twice along with treatment and surgeries, which have built up my ability to call on my reserve of patience I learned to store up during those tough times. He asked me how I was doing and it meant a lot to me. The simple fact he asked is the message I am passing along to the reader. How are you doing?
Be mindful of the fact that we each carry our own emotional and mental anguish on varying levels. When you recognize it, sense it in those you love, do them the sincere favor of asking the question, then listen. If there is a moment of silence, look at them with love and care, without judgement and wait. They may want to open up to you or they may say they are doing OK. Whether they are or not, ask the question. You never know when it might be the moment they need to be heard by a trusted friend. Thank you to those who have asked me.
How Am I Doing in Isolation?
I want you to know because I know going public you will ask. During the years I taught school I experienced many bad head colds and various viruses that consumed more than the precious and woeful number of sick days teachers are given every year. This felt all too familiar to me but I know it was different so I paid attention to symptoms.
I coughed, sneezed uncontrollably at times, felt achy, and slept like a bear in hibernation. I drank tons of water, kept a constant check on my Sp02 levels (oxygen saturation) and continued like I did when I was teaching knowing it would pass if I took care. It is. I will be out of isolation tomorrow. Speaking to friends and family who have it now or just recovered from it brings me comfort in knowing brighter days are just around the corner for me and I am grateful.
I consider all those who have not been as fortunate, not only facing this new virus, but in general. I deal with breast cancer patients with my Foundation. What breast cancer patients face requires support, love, compassion, listening, and care. With or without a support system during a diagnosis, I hear frequently how people who are diagnosed face feelings of isolation hearing the words, “You have breast cancer.”
Time to Consider
We need each other. Frustrations and the regrettable necessities of life will not end. It is part of life. I ask you to step outside of yourself and be considerate of others. Observe, practice empathy, listen, do not judge, reach out and ask for help, know that allowing yourself to be vulnerable you are showing a true strength. I leave you a favorite quote from a woman in history who took time to consider.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou