Category: Personal Stories

Can the Emotional Toll of Breast Cancer be Measured?

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Measured how you might ask. In number of years, you survived? Perhaps it is the impact of the treatment and how you are called to endure discomfort, pain, and loss you did not know you would experience? Measured by the times you survived breast cancer? Can the emotional toll of breast cancer be measured? 2002: The Emotional Toll I had breast cancer in 2002 for the first time. The simple description: left breast lobular carcinoma with no lymph node involvement. The emotional toll kicked in for me on three strong fronts: There is no way to describe the moment you hear the words, “You have breast cancer,” or for that matter any kind of cancer. Telling your immediate family and beginning phones calls to extended family and friends caused me to cry endlessly. I lost weight without even trying. Sitting in an oncology office in front of a stranger listening Continue Reading →

Challenges, Accomplishments, and Understanding the Worth of Being A Caregiver

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A guest blog by Richard A. Coutee I asked our oldest son to write a guest blog about his experience with both my breast cancer diagnosis and my recovery through DIEP flap surgery. I cried when I read it. He hit the mark on the challenges, accomplishments, and understanding the worth of being a caregiver. In his words… My First Challenge as a Caregiver In 2001, I was a freshman at Washington State University. I remember a chilly day in January, I was in class shortly after returning from Christmas break. The professor teaching the class that day paused when a teaching assistant came in and handed her a note. “Richard Coutee? You need to call home as soon as you can.”  I was embarrassed that I was called out in front of everyone and wondered what news was so important that it couldn’t wait for me. That’s when I Continue Reading →

How to Host a Breast Reconstruction Community Gathering

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I want to extend a note of gratitude to the members of the DiepCJourney private Facebook page for their inspiration writing this blog, how to host a breast reconstruction community gathering. For the readers, this is a community of learning, support, and sharing. I began “The Journey” Facebook group in 2015 before starting my nonprofit, DiepCFoundation. Now, this community has become an integral part of the Foundation work. I am inspired daily by their curiosity about breast reconstruction surgery, support for each other, and the friendships made along the way. You can see on the Advocacy page I recently held a community gathering of local Journey members. I want to share some tips on how to host your own breast reconstruction community gathering. Tip #1 for you Breast Reconstruction Community Gathering Ask yourself why you are having it. What purpose do you want to accomplish? It might be for the Continue Reading →

The Rewards and Risks of Traveling for Patient Advocacy

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Let’s dispense with the not so good news first. It is far less than the good news I will write about regarding the rewards and risks of traveling for patient advocacy. The Risks of Traveling for Patient Advocacy Patient advocates I know go into this work with their eyes wide open when they travel to conferences or events for their work. We know what can and sometimes does happen. I wanted to talk about these first because they are short-lived risks. The fallout from any of the above items passes in a brief time. We deal with them as they happen knowing we will return to our advocacy work in no time because of dealing with any of the above-mentioned events. The Rewards of Traveling for Patient Advocacy This is the real magic sauce of being a patient advocate and traveling on behalf of the communities we serve. My work Continue Reading →

Tapping into Resilience in the New Year

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We can write down, talk about, and make all the New Year’s resolutions we want. However, what will sustain us throughout the year is our resilience and responding to situations that set us back or cause us to change direction in our lives unexpectedly. How are you going to be tapping into resilience in the New Year? When Life Events Become a Catalyst to Tap into Resilience There are distinct types of events in life that can cause us to pivot, adjust, and do our best to move forward. I am speaking about health events. A sporting accident, a catastrophic car accident, or finding you have a disease that could either take your life sooner than expected or change your life forever. These are only a few examples of life events that cause one to reexamine how they are going to deal with things moving forward. My experience dealing with Continue Reading →

Microsoft Give, Breast Cancer, Our True Outreach and Influence

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Five years ago, I began making yearly presentations at Microsoft in Redmond, Washington for their volunteer days known as Microsoft Give. Give days are part of their corporate responsibility when employees share time, donations, and skill. It was a sunny day in the Pacific Northwest as I rolled into the massive new parking lot of the Microsoft campus in Redmond in mid-October of 2023. My car was loaded with care package items the Microsoft team would be assembling after I presented my talk entitled, “Microsoft Give, Breast Cancer, Our True Outreach and Influence”. From their website this phrase could not have been more accurate the day I was there. Microsoft employees are passionate about giving time, money, and skills to address the issues facing our world. Microsoft Corporate Social Responsibility Breast Cancer Call to Action at Microsoft Give Day What is the issue facing our world attendees would be helping Continue Reading →

Wins and Losses as I Celebrate Eight Years at DiepCFoundation

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Each August that rolls around, I think of the day I received my official letter of designation from the IRS stating I was legit, a government approved 501c3 nonprofit organization. Those eight years have been filled with a variety of emotions, wins and losses as I celebrate eight years at DiepCFoundation. The Losses During my Time as Founder of DiepCFoundation The most profound losses I have experienced are the loss of friends from breast cancer. When I hear the news of friends doing poorly, of the disease taking hold and treatment options running out, it is a slow process of loss. The breast cancer community lost a fierce advocate this year, Jennifer Elliott. She, along with many of my colleagues and patient advocate friends completed project LEAD together in 2017. Our friend, Kirstin Litz, used to refer to Jenn as, “Jenn double N”! It was a beautiful day when Roberta Continue Reading →

My Book Review of “After Breast Cancer”

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I want to thank the author, Sara Liyanage, and her publishers, Sheldon Press, for sending Sara’s book, After Breast Cancer, so that I may read and review it. The name itself appeals to me. Survivorship after breast cancer is not only important but can mean many things to those of us who have gone through it. I am honored to share my book review of After Breast Cancer. From Cover to Cover a Quick Summary When I taught students how to “get to know” a book these are things that I would tell them. In every sense of the word, after I took my own advice and went through these steps myself, I was ready to dig into Sara’s book. How After Breast Cancer Speaks to so Many Did you feel as though you were free falling after finishing all your treatments? Were there days when you weren’t sure what Continue Reading →

Women I Know and Admire

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May brings many celebrations that honor women. It is Mother’s Day weekend, but I have seen so much more on social media this month celebrating women. There are many women I know and admire, and I wish to celebrate them. The Mothers we Know and Admire They are not all with us, which gives me an even greater sense of appreciation that my ninety-two-year-old mother is still quite well and living. Admiration does not begin to embody all my thoughts and feelings for this woman. Not all mothers are admired through life and even after they have passed. It is the way of our fragile and emotional human nature. But for those who have been there for us you deserve some kudos and few more as we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend. Wiping tears, listening, making tough decisions on behalf of their children, working exhaustively at home and in their Continue Reading →

From Diagnosis to Regaining Strength after DIEP flap Breast Reconstruction

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I remember well the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found out when I received a phone call about my first diagnosis. It honestly felt surreal, like a gut punch when I picked up the phone and heard, “You have breast cancer.” The second time it was in person when I was called back to the radiologist’s office on my way home. The phone rang telling me to return after being cleared to go by a resident. I knew it wasn’t going to be good. But from diagnosis to regaining strength after DIEP flap, I made it through like so many others. My Diagnosis, Both Does the moment and emotions you experienced when you were diagnosed ever go away? I often hear the day, time, place, and how one felt is forever etched in your mind. It still is for me. How did you feel? My palms were Continue Reading →