When I think of the stories others have told me about their dads it varies greatly. This Father’s Day I look back at some of the great influencers, dads I have known in my life. Not everyone has fond memories of their dad, but this is a day set aside to honor those who are privileged enough to call themselves dad and will celebrate Father’s Day 2024 with fond memories and love.
My Dad
It is only fitting that I begin with a tribute to my own father who sadly is no longer with us. Dad had four daughters. He anguished at the loss of my older sister, Mary, who lived a short, brief time after birth. In those days, bonding with a lost child in hospital was not something practiced yet. They quickly whisked the baby away from my mom who carried Mary full term only to be lost shortly after birth.
It was dad’s job to make funeral arrangements, pick out a beautiful dress to bury her in, deal with his own grief, all while comforting my mom while she suffered a loss that would affect our family for years. I wouldn’t know about all of this until much later in life. I only remember trips to the cemetery each year to place flowers on tiny Mary’s grave marked with a sweet lamb on the gravestone dad picked out.
Memories of Fun Days and Laughter
What I remember most about dad was how much fun he was when I was young. He would stand in the driveway on a sweltering summer day, fill a metal bucket up with water, and dump it over his head. He would leave it there for a few minutes and I would become scared thinking he was going to drown in that bucket. He’d take it off his head and start to laugh chasing us around the yard with the hose. We went camping and stayed in a popup trailer near the lake. Each year at a certain time of the year he would find out if he qualified for a conference from his work. Some years he attended alone. Other years he and Mom would save money so they could take all three of us with them. I have such grand memories of cross-country trips in our station wagon.
A Symbolic Necklace Honoring Dad
Dad and I got each other on so many levels. We argued about many points in life as I was growing up. I refuted his advice on more than one occasion. Dad made it clear he thought I should study business in college instead of choosing education as a major. I often wear a necklace around my neck symbolizing our bond. It started out as a ring mom gave us upon dad’s passing. Dad was given the ring upon his retirement from Prudential insurance.
He bought me a life policy as a child as an insurance salesman. When I grew to be an adult, dad often said to me, “Take the cash built up in that little policy and do something valuable with it.” I did. In 2016 I needed two thousand dollars to open a business account (imagine that dad!) to open the nonprofit, DiepCFoundation. Upon his passing I took the Prudential retirement ring and had it designed into a necklace with my Foundation logo. On the back of the medallion is engraved, “12-01-14, Journey”. This is the date Minas Chrysopoulo, MD, FACS, performed my DIEP flap breast reconstruction surgery. Dad never met Dr. C in person, but you can read more about how dad had masses and prayers said for us both on December 1, 2014, in this blog post.
Our Son, His Dad, My Husband, and Father’s Day
We have two gloriously interesting sons. Our oldest has two children of his own now. Like me, he butted heads with his own dad, my husband, growing up. They did not always agree completely on matters but over time, their relationship remained strong and valuable to each other. Now my husband is known as “PopPop” to his grandchildren. We watch our son spend countless hours nurturing and guiding his own children practicing some of what we taught him. But, more importantly he guides his children in ways that nurture their curiosity, resilience, and models for each of them what a loving dad is supposed to be. Read the story of how he was a caregiver during my breast cancer.
PopPop now spends time in his garden after a tremendously intense career. It is grand to see him relaxing now enjoying his time learning at his leisure, teaching the grandchildren about the value of worms in the garden, and planting seeds together in the spring.
The Life of Dads who are Surgeons.
I have been fortunate to see a side of surgeons I’m guessing not a lot of patients see. Attending surgical conferences as a patient advocate allows me the privilege to have conversations during social events, and moments when we are not attending medical sessions to hear about their families. Without going into any detail, they suffer losses, medical crises in their families, the birth of new children, college graduations, weddings, and things you just don’t hear about in the consult room when you are laser focused absorbing their years of knowledge, training, and skill and planning surgery together.
One of the most touching stories I heard was that of my own surgeon, Dr. C, who shared how time spent with his dad growing up, inspired him to become a plastic surgeon. You can watch the video interview on the DiepCFoundation channel or listen to it on the DiepCJourney podcast. He pauses, reflects, and I can feel the love that only he and his dad shared when we talk.
I am in great admiration of those who are dads and microsurgeons. When I speak to you about your children, it is clear to me that they are what keeps you balanced. At the end of a day in clinic with breast cancer patients, or under the scope in the operating room, going home to be dad is what brings your work into focus and meaning.
My Father’s Day 2024 Wish
To all those fortunate enough to have the title “Dad” I wish you fond memories and love Father’s Day 2024 and each day you celebrate being a dad!