I have written about this topic before but each year I seem to learn something new. I hear from other people about being diagnosed or having surgery toward the end of the year. This can throw an extra wrench into holiday plans since so many people celebrate a number of different holidays in December. I learn from them and share my tips for getting through the holidays during breast cancer.
My Tips for Managing your Phone Time
This Thanksgiving, I gave myself a gift. I called family and close friends in the days leading up to Thanksgiving and told them I was turning my phone off the entire day of Thanksgiving beginning at bedtime the night before. I did not turn it back on until the morning after. They had the ability to get a hold of me in an emergency. I wanted to make sure of that. It was one of the best gifts I gave myself.
We become so distracted by our phones. When we don’t know the answer to something we look it up. If we receive a text message, we respond. Scrolling through our social media accounts becomes almost a form of entertainment and way to pass the time. Here are the benefits I noticed:
- I was fully engaged in any conversation I had with my family present that day.
- It was a peaceful feeling to not have the distraction of my phone.
- If someone asked a question none of us knew the answer to I simply said, “I have no idea.”
- My crisp, morning walk was full of sounds from nature. No podcast, no texting, no music.
Choose one day, maybe even two, and turn your phone off and put it in a drawer. When you are newly diagnosed with breast cancer, you need a break from researching, texting, and talking about it. It will be O.K.
Lowering Your Expectations Through the Holidays During Breast Cancer
This may seem like a counter-intuitive tip but let me explain. Hope for what we think the holidays should to look like can add stress to planning and emotional expectations. Many want the family around gathering for good times, laughter, and merriment. There is management of schedules, concerns about staying well and not sharing germs, preparing food, and decorating your home. What if we looked at singular moments rather than the event of the holiday itself?
The mere fact there are various personalities that come together during the holidays for gatherings can be tricky. Instead of measuring the success of one day during the year, treasure individual moments outside of the actual day you celebrate a holiday. There are large families, extended families, and individuals. Expectations during the holidays have often brought on unintended ill-feelings or even feeling of sadness. Let me share some solid examples of what I have done.
- A phone call to a relative or friend you do not often talk to can be a treasured conversation.
- Meeting someone, family of friend, spontaneously for coffee, lunch, or a nature walk can be refreshing and uplifting for you both this time of year.
- Simplifying time spent decorating your home. The year I had my DIEP flap, I only put things out I knew I could easily put away.
- If someone cancels a visit or doesn’t come for a holiday gathering, reach out to them, and let them know you will miss and plan to see them in the near future when the hubbub of the holidays as passed.
- If you are not feeling up to it, do not feel obligated to attend an event. Your health, safety and recovery are paramount during breast cancer and breast reconstruction surgery. Taking care of you is important and you are worth it!
Holiday Tips for Everyone Involved in Your Breast Cancer Care
I often think about healthcare professionals this time of year. Many patients are anxious to get their surgeries complete so they do not have to start another year of deductibles. With the financial burdens for patients diagnosed with breast cancer it is understandable. What is often forgotten is the intensity of schedules for surgeons and others involved in the care of breast cancer patients. Many of them have families who are anxious to spend the holidays with them. I suggest finding an extra ounce of patience and kindness to anyone in the healthcare profession during the holidays. We are all human and deserve to be treated with kindness.
Caregivers play a crucial role in our recovery. If they are far away friends who have sent a gift, think about taking time out to call, write a personal note, or schedule a Facetime so they know how much you appreciate their support. Sit quietly with a loved one in your family circle, a child, a spouse, your partner, and have no expectations other than just being together enjoying a movie or quiet chat with your favorite hot cocoa or delicious warm cup of tea.
Be good to yourself. You did not sign up for this breast cancer club. Breast Cancer doesn’t take a holiday. Having surgery or being newly diagnosed this time of year holds a lot of weight and worry, not only for your own well being but other, too. I would love to hear your tips for getting through the holidays during breast cancer. Feel free to comment because I am learning as I go from year to year.